Ten 2017 Movies Summarised in Ten Words Each

There are a few things I don’t like when it comes to properly discussing movies – or any piece of entertainment media, really – but two of my biggest pet peeves are

  1. Overly simplistic analysis;
  2. Relying heavily on comparison to other pieces of media.

Yet here we are in the middle of the year and I have written virtually nothing on this site about movies, mostly due to heavy time investment elsewhere in life. What’s more, I have somehow already seen ten films in cinemas this year (Throughout the entirety of 2016 I saw just thirteen). These two facts have combined with my itchy keyboard fingers and a couple of spare hours to create what you see now: Ten movie releases from 2017 so far, each conveniently (and poorly) summarised in ten words. That means lots of those two things I hate to fall back on. Desperate times, people.

Fun times though. I suppose mild spoilers may follow.
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

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The Great Wall

Fire Emblem with even more colourcoding, exposition and death.”

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Logan

The Last of UsMutant EditionAvoid if feeling down.”

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Power Rangers

The Breakfast Club plus one kaiju battleMelodramatic and amazing.”

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Beauty & the Beast

Just enough new stuff to explain existence. Gaston/LeFou dominate.”

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Ghost in the Shell

Absolutely incredible visuals/sound but apparently nothing like the original.”

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The LEGO Batman Movie

The best DC movie of this decade. Insanely frequent cameos.”

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Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 2

Now with faster jokesa decent villain and unexpected tears.”

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Get Out

The Stepford Wives meets an uncomfortable brand of racial tension.”

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John Wick: Chapter 2

Builds on that sweet assassin loreNo more dogs die.”

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Alien Covenant

Pretty much just Prometheus 2 with 20 minutes of Alien.”

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One response to this post.

  1. […] spoilers may follow. Read my earlier oversimplified 2017 list here. […]

    Reply

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