Vagrant Rant M o v i e s . G a m e s . M u s i c . "L i f e".

There are a few things I don’t like when it comes to properly discussing movies – or any piece of entertainment media, really – but two of my biggest pet peeves are

1. Overly simplistic analysis;
2. Relying heavily on comparison to other pieces of media.

Yet here we are in the middle of the year and I have written virtually nothing on this site about movies, mostly due to heavy time investment elsewhere in life. What’s more, I have somehow already seen ten films in cinemas this year (Throughout the entirety of 2016 I saw just thirteen). These two facts have combined with my itchy keyboard fingers and a couple of spare hours to create what you see now: Ten movie releases from 2017 so far, each conveniently (and poorly) summarised in ten words. That means lots of those two things I hate to fall back on. Desperate times, people.

Fun times though. I suppose mild spoilers may follow.
.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

.
.

The Great Wall

“Fire Emblem with even more colour–coding, exposition and death.”

.
.

Logan

“The Last of Us: Mutant Edition. Avoid if feeling down.”

.
.

Power Rangers

“The Breakfast Club plus one kaiju battle. Melodramatic and amazing.”

.
.

Beauty & the Beast

“Just enough new stuff to explain existence. Gaston/LeFou dominate.”

.
.

Ghost in the Shell

“Absolutely incredible visuals/sound but apparently nothing like the original.”

.
.

The LEGO Batman Movie

“The best DC movie of this decade. Insanely frequent cameos.”

.
.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 2

“Now with faster jokes, a decent villain and unexpected tears.”

.
.

Get Out

“The Stepford Wives meets an uncomfortable brand of racial tension.”

.
.

John Wick: Chapter 2

“Builds on that sweet assassin lore. No more dogs die.”

.
.

Alien Covenant

“Pretty much just Prometheus 2 with 20 minutes of Alien.”

.